The Out-Of-This-World Truth About Birthdays

Complicated Things, Birthdays

Looking back to early years, nothing could beat them.

You felt special. You became almost magical, juiced up with the nectar of fantasy. No other day could compete. You wished for currency in enticing envelopes and cake for breakfast. You could watch the parade of years marching down to greet you, all oom-pah-pah and streamers. Sure of yourself, not a twitch or tremor to be seen.

Everyone patted your head and told you how grown up you were— even when truth be told, you were not all that much different from last year. Unless, of course, the sudden growth spurt syndrome had struck, usually accompanied by the gawkishness of a one-legged crab. No Matter! Somehow everything about you warranted congratulations. As if this feat was due to your own ingenuity.

Later, however, birthdays fall victim to the law of diminishing returns. The more expensive the anti-wrinkle cream, the more work you must do to maintain your good shape, the less enthusiasm you have for the day. The feeling of time slipping away while you remain stuck in old habits. Stale, no longer fresh in your Sunday best.

There are larger difficulties not obvious at first. You may begin to see the creeping malady in remarks or awkward hesitation when age is mentioned. Humorous cards trend. Friends make quips about washing out the greys, eating supper at lunchtime, and using words like downsizing. You all have a jolly old laugh. Ha ha, so funny…cringe.

Like it or not, the birthday industry rolls right along. Memories pile on. The chink of campaign flutes, the crinkle of gift wrap, honeyed times left in photographs. I dare say most of us crack a smile remembering.

Do you still hear the last strains of that receding parade? Do you remember when those once welcoming sounds faded into a kind of anxiety?

There Comes a Day When Everything Changes

Someone throws a switch. The day becomes an obstacle to overcome on the path of loss.  The sharp point of it reminds us of the before and after. This is the way it was and this is the way it is now. Remember, it shouts, how fortunate you were to be cherished or admired, or even liked by friends.

Memories plunge bony fingers into the flesh and rake the heart.

Yes, special celebrations can be cruel. They amplify what is gone. It takes effort to turn those birthdays into special days. It becomes work.

Difficult for a multitude of reasons, not grief only. Some of us just don’t like the reminders anymore. We don’t see the point of this hurtful jab once a year. We certainly don’t feel special, we feel more like victims.

But That’s Plain Wrong!

Take a look at the issue of birthdays in a different light.

The chance of us being here at all, feeling the breeze on our faces, and marveling at the sprinkled stars, is astounding. Plain fact.

According to Neil deGrasse Tyson, the total number of humans that exist or ever existed from the dawn of time until now is about 100 billion. Those who will never exist outnumber us puny few by a gargantuan, tremendous, uncountable number. So, the odds of our being here at all is beyond belief.

If that doesn’t make you feel special, then I don’t understand the word.

However you understand it, I wish you birthdays that are bright and blithe and brimming with content.